Steve Hardys Rants & Raves

I should say up front this is my first visit to the cinema in fifteen years, seats that don’t like fat dudes and other peoples pop-corn noises are an entry barrier for me.

Well,  first the film, this I enjoyed and the fairly subtle use of 3D suited my taste, with few of those deliberate push it in your face type moments.

The plot was workman like and I suspect has been done many times before.

The script was okay and leagues better than Lucas can do.

Second – the technical stuff.

The picture was, even before the glasses went on, dim and under-lit, far worse than even a competent LCD, only the sheer size of the screen compensated for this.

They desperately need higher frame rates; when the action got fast I found the juddering grated. Its no use saying video games are improved by higher frame rates but somehow people perceive films through different eyes. I want movement at all speeds to be silky smooth.

I found that these two problems were cast into sharp relief because of the sheer quality and beauty of the CGI which demanded more than a projector with a rubber band controlled film gate and a candle as a light source.

The sound was loud (in a good way) not too distorted but so far off “HiFi” to be laughable, no sense of depth, no real sound stage, little extended treble, no nuance.

In the end I was extremely pleased I went, I enjoyed the evening, I was not bored for a second, but I do wish I could teleport to central London to see this type of film where I would hope the technical standards would be much higher!

The Robot, aka the Garmin Sat Nav, senses it’s on the way out. It knows that phones are coming along that offer what it offers but for free. It remembers that the last map update it sold me (£69) did not contain any of the new roads on my regular route to Lincolnshire, it knows this because it spends at least ten miles driving through “fields” near Cambridge.

Now, us humans should have learnt from “2001, A Space Odyssey”; when computers make mistakes they try to kill the nearest fleshy witnesses. So it nearly came to pass on the way back from Lincolnshire a couple of days ago as I slavishly followed the Robots instructions. Paying little attention I failed to notice the road slowly narrow. only when it became a single track path made out of concrete slabs did I take heed. Still my trust kept me going. After mile I started to worry as the concrete slabs were looking a bit frayed at the edges and my “towny” car (New Beetle) can’t take rough roads.

Then I came on a hunting party, three locals by a Range Rover one of whom had three dead rabbits in his hand. On hearing my sad tale they assured me through barely disguised mirth that the track did eventually return to a proper road. And it did, after another four miles or so of nerve racking crawling over badly broken concrete and mud next to the occasional tower of turnips. All the time I swear I could hear the Robot whispering under it’s breath “die you bastard”

Well, now the trust has gone and all I have left is a deep feeling of comradeship with the polish lorry driver that has ended up trapped in a small country lane because he didn’t talk nicely to his Sat Nav; they’re deadly and they’re out to get us.

Lazily returning from a late breakfast at the East Hasting Angling Club I decided to take the West Hill Lift, asking the woman on the ticket stand “how much”, she replied “£2, £1 for pensioners”. Eh, what. That’s the first time anyone has intimated that I might be “getting on”. I’m doomed, it’s all down hill etc…

Amongst my favourite blogs are ones that the authors rants and swear a lot, it’s a similar thing with Billy Brag; I probably agree with few of his views but love the passion he brings to them.

When I read rubbish like this “Private ‘police’ provoke concern” it makes me want to borrow the angry style even though I suspect it will alienate (whilst entertaining) people.

To use a popular phrase of the moment “they just don’t get it”. The police have failed to supply what the public want, they have failed spectacularly and consistently. They have hidden behind statistics, self assessment and the public’s natural desire to respect them. What most of us want is to feel safe where ever we are at all times. The crucial segment of that sentence is “feel safe”. We don’t want to be “reassured by statistics that the likely hood of an…” blah, blah. We want to “feel safe”. Over the years many polls have indicated that what we want is more “bobbies on the beat” so the politicians and police cannot say they were unaware of the public’s basic requirements.

If I was living on an estate and a gang of youths were behaving threateningly what do you think would offer me the most re-assurance, the knowledge that in a few minutes a local policeman would appear on their regular beat or that I had seen on the news last night that the police had recovered half a ton of narcotics?

Its such a no brainer that I think it’s safe to say that all of the current polices leadership is unfit for purpose, end of story.

Next Wednesday, 18th November, 7.45, I’m back as a desperately needy Quiz Master at the Cinque Port Arms, Old Town Hastings. Come to fight for the massive prizes (a bottle of wine) and sheer entertainment (in the event of legal proceedings “sheer entertainment” is defined, for the purposes of this posting, as “the odd laugh”).

Sinister regulars at the Cinque Ports

Ever since I’ve had the  BMW R1150RT It’s been prone to “pinking”, i.e. pre-detonation where the petrol ignites before it should. It sounds like stones rattling on the front of the bike and it can damage the engine. In the early days I took it back to Coopers of Tunbridge Wells, the dealers where I bought it, you remember them, and they balanced the throttle valves and advised me to change my riding style. This reduced it but it never fully went away.

Just recently I took it in to Hastings Motorcycles for new tires and a 24,000 mile service. One of the things I asked for was adjusting the tappets.

When I picked up the bike they said that they had checked the tappets and “surprisingly” they did need adjustment.

And low and behold I now have what appears to be a new bike, there is no pinking at all.

Now this may seem like more Coopers bashing but why the hell didn’t they check this before they sold it to me, it was second hand but buying even a second hand BMW from a dealer is not cheap. Dealers have the equipment, the skills and one would assume greater knowledge of the marque they are selling than anyone else but they appear to not give a shit.

To be honest I have only myself to blame; in my early twenties I read “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” and it warns against motorcycle dealers, particularly mechanics (and, as I recall, all people) who don’t care about the quality of what they do. I have still got this touching faith that most people are not like that but slowly I am being proved wrong.

Engine after service by modern commercial mechanic

When you’re round a table and only two of you have all your original parts. Fortunaty as some one who has never looked after himself I’m glad to report that I was one of the still intact individuals.

Now, I’m not going to get on my high horse about this; I have failed to vote more times than I care to remember, but my enthusiasm for a particular candidate and the low turnout got me thinking. The first thing to say is the best defence for not voting is laziness, this I respect, it has an honesty that can’t be argued with. Where I now part company with people is when the argument of “not voting because they’re all crooks” is deployed. This does not work. You may pretend that not voting is a protest but nobody cares if you don’t vote, certainly not politicians. Watching Newsnight last night reminded me of the barefaced cheek of politicians. They operate on the twin principles of the conceit that the occasional election is the consent of the people and divide and conquer. Oh, sorry, lets not forget the third principle; lie, lie and lie again.

Oh well, our boy Andy Dumas came a distant second; 625 to Godfrey Daniels 1522 votes. It says a lot about the quality of his campaign that he beat the Conservative and Liberals. It will be interesting to see what he does now, I’ve already volunteered to help with the web side if he decides to stand again. Mind you I’m not sure if he takes me seriously or thinks I’m some sort of strange stalker!

I will, at great personal sacrifice, go down Poor Boys to see how he’s taking it.

Went to vote early, a groggy hangover head made the European voting slip a bit of an effort, I swear it was twenty miles long. Evan at this time of the morning, 7.15, a passer by walking his dog shouted in to the lonely Labour man sitting at the entrance “I’m not voting today, they’re all crooks”. It’s going to be a long day at the polling stations.

The good news is that early poll research, me and Keith down the Sea Angling Club, indicate a landslide for our boy Andy Dumas. So tomorrow morning I expect to awake in a world were the sun shines all the time, we are all nice to each other and digital cameras are free.