Steve Hardys Rants & Raves

Over which you don’t go. Unfortunately I have “line blindness” which leads me often snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Last night was such an event. A great dinner party at the home of partner in crime Mr Evans. A surprise was the presence of the current “Future Mrs Hardy” (FMH).

Now let me explain the “Future Mrs Hardy” concept. This is a position that indicates I like someone in “that way” but they must be unobtainable and have a strong sense of humour. The current holder of the post fulfils these criteria wonderfully; Intelligent, attractive, ludicrously young, a sharp of humour and what I take to be failing eyesight.

Last night I had what I thought was a good evening, bravely fighting the corrosive effects of drink I was (in my unbiased estimation!) occasionally amusing, listened well and near the end of the evening gained the FMHs phone number, I mean, what could go wrong…

I’m not going to say exactly what went wrong but suffice to say drunks should have their fingers removed to prevent embarrassing late night texting issues occurring.

The few people who read this might have wondered what happened to the recent posts, not that there were many. Well the truth is due to a very foreseeable event my server “deleted” all the posts and did I have a recent backup, of course not, just one from the back end of last year..

Impressed, I don’t think so!

Next Wednesday, 18th November, 7.45, I’m back as a desperately needy Quiz Master at the Cinque Port Arms, Old Town Hastings. Come to fight for the massive prizes (a bottle of wine) and sheer entertainment (in the event of legal proceedings “sheer entertainment” is defined, for the purposes of this posting, as “the odd laugh”).

Sinister regulars at the Cinque Ports

Ever since I’ve had the  BMW R1150RT It’s been prone to “pinking”, i.e. pre-detonation where the petrol ignites before it should. It sounds like stones rattling on the front of the bike and it can damage the engine. In the early days I took it back to Coopers of Tunbridge Wells, the dealers where I bought it, you remember them, and they balanced the throttle valves and advised me to change my riding style. This reduced it but it never fully went away.

Just recently I took it in to Hastings Motorcycles for new tires and a 24,000 mile service. One of the things I asked for was adjusting the tappets.

When I picked up the bike they said that they had checked the tappets and “surprisingly” they did need adjustment.

And low and behold I now have what appears to be a new bike, there is no pinking at all.

Now this may seem like more Coopers bashing but why the hell didn’t they check this before they sold it to me, it was second hand but buying even a second hand BMW from a dealer is not cheap. Dealers have the equipment, the skills and one would assume greater knowledge of the marque they are selling than anyone else but they appear to not give a shit.

To be honest I have only myself to blame; in my early twenties I read “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” and it warns against motorcycle dealers, particularly mechanics (and, as I recall, all people) who don’t care about the quality of what they do. I have still got this touching faith that most people are not like that but slowly I am being proved wrong.

Engine after service by modern commercial mechanic

When you’re round a table and only two of you have all your original parts. Fortunaty as some one who has never looked after himself I’m glad to report that I was one of the still intact individuals.

Now, I’m not going to get on my high horse about this; I have failed to vote more times than I care to remember, but my enthusiasm for a particular candidate and the low turnout got me thinking. The first thing to say is the best defence for not voting is laziness, this I respect, it has an honesty that can’t be argued with. Where I now part company with people is when the argument of “not voting because they’re all crooks” is deployed. This does not work. You may pretend that not voting is a protest but nobody cares if you don’t vote, certainly not politicians. Watching Newsnight last night reminded me of the barefaced cheek of politicians. They operate on the twin principles of the conceit that the occasional election is the consent of the people and divide and conquer. Oh, sorry, lets not forget the third principle; lie, lie and lie again.

Oh well, our boy Andy Dumas came a distant second; 625 to Godfrey Daniels 1522 votes. It says a lot about the quality of his campaign that he beat the Conservative and Liberals. It will be interesting to see what he does now, I’ve already volunteered to help with the web side if he decides to stand again. Mind you I’m not sure if he takes me seriously or thinks I’m some sort of strange stalker!

I will, at great personal sacrifice, go down Poor Boys to see how he’s taking it.

Went to vote early, a groggy hangover head made the European voting slip a bit of an effort, I swear it was twenty miles long. Evan at this time of the morning, 7.15, a passer by walking his dog shouted in to the lonely Labour man sitting at the entrance “I’m not voting today, they’re all crooks”. It’s going to be a long day at the polling stations.

The good news is that early poll research, me and Keith down the Sea Angling Club, indicate a landslide for our boy Andy Dumas. So tomorrow morning I expect to awake in a world were the sun shines all the time, we are all nice to each other and digital cameras are free.

Unusually for me I did what I said I would and went searching for the mythical Andy Dumas. Fortunately he turned out to be the owner of Poor Boys so I was able to get a sense of the man as well as well and drunk, ah, the things I have to do as an “ace reporter”.

Andy Dumas turned out to be every bit as good as his pamphlet, in fact a lot better. He was originally an American born in Dallas, Texas and to be honest it’s worth spending and evening at his bar just listening to his stories from that period of his life.

As a potential councilor he was a complete revelation; encyclopedic knowledge of Hastings combined with common sense, the classic American “can do” attitude and a sense of humor, whats not to like?

I spent a couple of hours at Poor Boys talking to him and others around the bar (its that  sort of place) and not once was he evasive or in any way like the classic politician we have come to know and loath in this country.

He is taking on Godfrey Daniels in the election. I have met Godfrey once, my abiding memory of that occasion was, after hearing my opinion that we should strengthen democracy by having many more referendums he said, with the tone of a kindly school master, “Steve, that would be too expensive”. Within a short period of time his party was spending billions “bringing democracy to Iraq” against the obvious wishes of the majority of his fellow citizens. He was a nice man but that remark alone summons up the patrician attitude of the rulers who always know best.

Back to Andy, hes got my vote and I suggest if you’re interested in voting, and you should be, you get down to Poor Boys and check him out in the flesh – democracy and drinking, you know it makes sense!

Andy Dumas, the man, his bar and a snack.

A slightly suspicious thing is that there are no ways to contact Andy Dumas except through a postal address and his blog/website does not allow comments. I might waddle down Poor Boys, where I think he hangs out, he might even own it, and try for a few words to ascertain the cut of his gib. If I do I will report back. Should I wear a trilby with “press” on it?